Natalia Lee

A nest of sorts

La obra de caridad

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Musings

I live on an island in the Caribbean as I’m sure some of you may already know or be aware of. This island is sort of an indentured part of the US. All this going on in the States is something I’ve been watching unfold, with much anxiety, pain and worry. While watching and praying and thinking, and praying some more, I’m reminded of my godmother’s words when we hold the more personal (less formal) veladas with our spiritual house. A velada is basically a gathering between us in the house, where we pray, talk, and go over things pertaining to each other, our development and our spiritual house, and under more formal/specific settings we work las causas (these are ailments, spiritual and/or physical). Going back to my godmother’s words, she is always reminding us to work the act of charity, or as we say it, la obra de caridad, as it is our duty of love and compassion which contributes to our fellow (shared community) mutual flourishing, our own, and for our spirits as well. I’ve thought about her words lately, as I look at everything going on, from a place mired in a mess of issues of our own legacy as colonized, indentured, and subjugated.

Charity as per Merriam-Webster:

Charity is : generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy or suffering
also : aid given to those in need; benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity. From Middle English charite, from Anglo-French charité, from Late Latin caritat-, caritas Christian love, from Latin, dearness, from carus dear; akin to Old Irish carae friend, Sanskrit kāma love.

And so it is about extending aid to those suffering, in need of aid, disadvantaged disenfranchised. Most importantly it is an act of love. While our acts of love may change in form, it is our call and our duty to extend our hand and reach for what is just and aid in the fight with our black brothers and sisters. To stand up and act, and go, and do, and move. If you can, donate to organizations near you in the frontlines, keep it local when possible, and go from there. Donate money, donate time, donate your actions. And if all or some of these aren’t possible donate your prayers, donate your lit candles, your litanies, your rosaries, your mantras, your intentions as well. Find what your obra de caridad looks like and make it happen, be proactive. We are not just spiritual people engaging and “working” with spirits, seeking knowledge, dexterity, power, sovereignty, etc. We are persons part of a community and we are also called to fulfill our acts of love, and not solely for out benefit.

I’ve recently shared two prayers that can be intoned as mantras while in the battle, if you like them you are encouraged to take and use them.

Prayer to St. Justina:

Holy Saint Justina, Blessed Saint Justina, Beneficent Saint Justina of Antioch; Maiden, Martyr, and Healing Abbess, Courageous Saint and Brightest Candle in the Dark. Pray for us, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Prayer to St. Joan of Arc:

St. Joan of Arc, sovereign maiden, undaunted in life, grant us courage and peace in the face of fear, hope in the face of uncertainty, love in the face of hate, sovereignty of body and spirit in the face of tyranny.

BLACK LIVES MATTER.
A litany of sorrows and a song of hope

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Enchantments

I am heartbroken about so many things both little and big, close and far. That we, as in my son, partner, and I are isolated from contact, physical, from those in our families. That fear and anxiety is the medium of the message everywhere I look. That my son was not able to enjoy the rest of his school semester with his friends in school. That when he approaches other kids the first wall put up is fear. That he has no friends near to play and run around with. That my partner and I are his sole source of entertainment besides his toys and the intervals of time we let him watch television.

That this being the island that it is, with deeply embedded roots of colonization we will get whatever is distilled from Capitol Hill, and this distillation will be further warped and fractured. That everything “that is going on” in the health crisis masks deeper layers of complexity that have not potentially been problematized nor widely looked at. That I don’t know what the world in the context of day to day living will look like a year from now, nor even six months from now for the sake of my son’s education. That this whole ordeal has possibly/perhaps introduced discomfort and pain for my son in his development. That I am struggling in being a mother, a teacher, and also a person who works from home. That to go to the beach means breaking the law.

That another black man was cruelly murdered and his family was left without him. That he will not see his kids grow, if he had children. That more pain is sowed, more cruelty, hatred, discord. That there are thousands upon thousands hungry and without food, without a reliable source of safety, of income, without a home.

What will the world look like when we do step out of our hideaways and look to the sun? What constraints will be in place without my consent nor the consent of many? What limits, bifurcations, and distortions be employed?

Have we ever really known what lies ahead even during “peaceful” times? What has been truly certain in living? What has ever been guaranteed? Did we believe that the apparatus of control would ensure our individual progress? Is there such a thing as progress, progressing unendingly in a straight line toward more, better, fuller, brighter? Have I ever been able to fully control how any thing will affect my son and his development? Can I ever truly safeguard him from all pain and suffering? Can I myself be guaranteed no pain and suffering? Or my partner?

Is there certainty beyond the now becoming?

There are many many many things I do not know, nor that I can hold in my hands to control. But I do know that there is this now that I am experiencing. I know that I am in relation to the landscape and this is my landscape. This is the terrain I navigate, now. The topography that unfolds with every encounter of my body with what is immediate and in proximity. My body feels sad and it is tired, heartbroken, and stained with tears.

These past days I’ve been involved in a novena to Saint Joan of Arc, one that has opened outward toward intriguing landscapes of open fields under the sun, and closed doors, rooms and halls. That maiden who heard the call and acted, who felt the touch and moved. As her feast day looms ahead, I sing a song of hope for all of us.

I pray this same maiden, undaunted in life, may grant us courage and peace in the face of fear, hope in the face of uncertainty, love in the face of hate, sovereignty of body and spirit in the face of tyranny.

~~~
Saint Justina: a candle in the dark

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Enchantments

Some days ago, I was catching up with friends in these isolated times, and reading on how others are managing in their homes with reduced physical contact with others. I thought back to different times, places, and hardships. How others have navigated trying times. I thought of the Saints and of persons in history that have undergone trying times, illnesses, imprisonment, isolation, etc. and how they navigated long and short term difficulties, both at the individual and the collective. Going about my days and thinking about this, St. Justina of Antioch surfaced, or came to the surface.

As per the Golden Legend, she was a beautiful maiden relentlessly pursued by the sorcerers Cyprian and Acladuis. Cyprian summoned the Devil to torment her and to inflame her with desire so as she would depart from her private vow of chastity, which she resisted through the sign of the cross. The torment got so acute that the Devil sent plagues and fevers to the city where she lived, letting it be known through prophets/seers that until Justina agreed to marriage many would die and suffer. This went on for 7 years until Justina, unmoved in her conviction yet moved by the plight of others, “prayed and succeeded in driving the pestilence from the country.” All the wiles of the Devil and the cunning of the sorcerers, both Cyprian and Acladuis, came to fruitless ends. Justina remained unswerving. “Thwarted at every turn, the Devil went back to Cyprian and stood shamefaced before him. ‘What?’ Said Cyprian to him. ‘You, too, defeated? Is your power so feeble that you cannot overcome one girl and get her in your power? So feeble that, on the contrary, she single-handedly defeats the lot of you and beats you all into pitiful submission? Tell me pray, where does this extraordinary strength of hers come from?’”†

My thoughts here run parallel to St. Justina’s life, because all the wiles of the Devil and the sorcerers brought her and others to walk through dark times, of hardships and suffering. I emphasis dark because the artifices of her foes typically came under the blanket of night, and with illusory guises. The way I see it, she learned to navigate the dark and the shadows growing through each encounter in fortitude against her enemies.

This has served as inspiration for me during these times, with uncertainty in the air dressing itself in doubts, anxiety, unnameable fears, shadows and confusion. Hence, I’d like to share a little prayer I wrote under the auspices of the Saint herself, with a reminder that if things get too dark and uncertain, she is the candle the burns in the darkness and shines a light upon the shadows.

Holy Saint Justina

Blessed Saint Justina

Beneficent Saint Justina of Antioch

Maiden, Martyr, and Healing Abbess,

Courageous Saint and Brightest Candle in the Dark.

Pray for us, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Icon by Biso, Saints Cyprian and Justina who in 304, during the persecution of Diocletian, suffered martyrdom at Nicomedia (modern day İzmit, Turkey). Icon, gift from my family to church St.St Kiril and Metodi, Slivnitsa. 26 October 2009

I’ve found that a small lit candle with this prayer does wonders. May we all cultivate the strength to persevere and flourish. Keep going.

~~~

† Jacobus De Voragine, The Golden Legend: Selections, ed. and trans. by Christopher Stace, Penguin Books: London, England, 1998.
On the negotiating table

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Augury

For the month of May I’m going to come at the augury from a different angle. Instead of a general look at the month, I want to look ahead with a purpose. So I’m asking the cards for suggested ways of better flourishing for May. The cards responded with…

Voltige Playing Cards designed by Henri deSaint Julien & Jacques Denain, published by D&D Playing Card Company.

Seek to fill your heart with what stimulates and motivates your passions, what mobilizes you in relation to what you love so that you do more of that. Cutting the poison taking root at the center by finding ways through it, re-invigorating your thinking around what you do with your body and your time, and in doing these things, stimulating your thoughts toward more fruitful routes. Reduce needless over-stimulation, contract what is unnecessary, and which poisons through excess. Move your body in accord with mind, seeking messages that rejuvenate, inspiration, locating ways through the tangled web of torpor.

In other words: what makes your heart race with renewed excitement and also nourishes you? Seek stimulation down this route. Think, do, and be with these things, renew your daily living. The more you move in this direction, the web of lethargy that holds the heart captive loosens. May is a time of negotiations, as are most times really, but in this case, negotiations between what is necessary and what is superfluous. What feeds and what poisons. What benefits thriving and what excessively occupies your attention.

When our attention is focused, we are better able to analyze whatever situation(s) are playing out in our lives both in the micro and macro scale.

Suggestions for May:

Let your bare feet touch earth and allow worries to dissipate downward, leaving the body through your feet.

Find material, in a book, a project, a task, or a goal that stimulates while also being a point of contact with another, be it through conversation, planning, or study. *Contact can be played out through email, letters, video, or a forum, however it is best accessible.

Converse and be enriched in dialogue with others and through the experience of sharing.

Remember to embrace what you love and make time for it.

Trump disillusion through enchantment.

Voltige Playing Cards designed by Henri deSaint Julien & Jacques Denain, published by D&D Playing Card Company.

~~~

In related updates:

I’ve recently finished and posted another installment in my tarot pips series: The Suits in their Element. You can now find all the parts so far of the series under the Marseille Tarot section in the Telling Fortunes tab in the menu, titled Animating the Tarot Pips.

For more inspiration on thriving in place, I’ve also shared some thoughts on interacting with my local environment and isolation, Of Shadows and Corners. Which includes photos of my home and environment.

Also, here is the brilliantly wonderful Becca Tarnas in conversation: Imagination as the Topographical Inversion of Reality.

I am available for one-on-one card readings, and always look forward to slinging the cards for my readers both old and new. You can find my reading options at the Book a Reading page.

Have a question or two, or just want to say hi, send me an email: mistandaether@gmail.com.

Be gentle with yourself and others, and remember, love.